If

If I die today, just remember everything will be okay

If I die today know that it was my time.

If I die today please remember that day

If I die, promise to visit me sometime.

Don’t wait:

Why waste your time? If you’re not ready, maybe you never will be.

Put your toes in the water and push yourself out there.

Sometimes not being comfortable enough will stop you from doing this you may regret in life.

So get out there, get that job, hang out with those friends, buy that shirt you really liked.

After all, you may never know the outcome until it happens. You’re only given one shot!

Part one:

You didn’t know your parent was an alcoholic at a young age did you? You thought it was all a normal concept, or did you? The slurring of words, the crossed eyes, the loss of balance, and so much more. Is this how a child should grow up?

If you don’t agree you are not right nor are you wrong. Maybe you just have not grown up in the same shoes as I did. When I was younger, my family was quite wealthy, it was not my choice, nor did I want to be known as the “rich bitch.” But being wealthy and having an alcoholic mother doesn’t mix when you’re my age. We have money, why should we be unhappy? We have everything we need, money fixes every problem anyone could ever have, what’s the matter here? Still, nobody will be able to answer most of these questions. Not even my mother. Is it an act? Was she afraid of her children making it further than her? What could possibly be going on in a mother’s head when she decides to get plastered and take her unknown anger out on her kids.

Having an alcoholic mother is horrible, I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy, but I will say that I am more than grateful for having to grow up at a young age. I am a teenager begging for someone to understand what its grow up like this, why can’t someone help me?

Friendship

Friendship:

It’s taught me not to love just one person.

It’s taught me to love everyone.

It’s taught me to be fair.

It’s taught me loyalty and forgiveness.

Friendship:

It taught me how to keep going. It taught me that the ones that were meant to be in your life will always come back or stay no matter how hard it gets.

Friendship:

It has taught me everything I know ❤️

Lover or hater?

Every now and then your name rings a bell.

When you left, I had finally escaped my cell.

As NF says, “pictures don’t change just the people inside of them do.” You walked away from me right out the blue.

You had me thinking you would love me a little longer.

But all that you did was make me a whole lot stronger.

I wish I could erase the memories inside my head.

All of those I love you’s and promises had me mislead.

It’s not fair that you can’t pick up what you throw down.

Before I was tripping over my big feet, you had me looking like a clown.

I’m doin a whole lot better now.

I’ve conquered my depression and I don’t know how.

Maybe it was me, or maybe it was you

But since you’ve been gone, I’ve allowed my happiness to come through.

This whole situation is just so cliché

Hated each other one night, then were inseparable the next day.

They say, “things will never go back to the way they were”

But honey we made that happen, and sadly, that’s what I prefer

Miss the memories, not the person

After losing people who meant the most to me, I have never realized how independent I really am.

I used to fight so hard for all of my friends when in the end, none of them ever gave a damn.

Now I walk the road with me myself and I

I remember being so lonely then, but now I’ve never felt so alive.

I was one to hate the saying “at the end of the day all you have is yourself”

And I believed it the day I put all of your memories on my highest shelf.

I never once thought this day would come, where I would lose that person to text when something exciting happened to me

But without that person picking me up just to slam me back down, there has been no controversy.

Nonetheless, I have come to the conclusion that I miss the memories more the person that causes all of my pains

But now that I am alone, I finally grew the strength to break free from my chains.

So my advice to you is to choose your friends wisely

For you know you best, fake friends hit you blindly

The perfect get away weekend:

What’s so great about family that travels all around the world anyway? To a young broke teenager, it doesn’t seem fun unless it’s paid for. In my opinion, I would be so grateful to be able to travel all over the world… But until I win the lotto, I prefer to save money and drive to places that aren’t as far and populated. Northern Wisconsin is my favorite get away spot. Why? Hurley is in the Northern most part of Wisconsin and there are little to no rules here. The form of transportation is not in fact a car, for most, it is a dirt bike, four wheeler, side by side, three wheeler, and in the winter, snowmobiling is a HUGE deal. If you’re not a city girl like me, this is a perfect spot to stay. The Gile Flow-age is a beautiful lake to spend the day at. Whether you like boating, fishing, or exploring along the side in the giant iron filled rocks. This place is awesome and gives you the ability to get some dirt on your knees just like the old days! Hurley Wisconsin is a cute small town but there is ALWAYS something to do. Plus! The wildlife is BEAUTIFUL! Just be sure to always carry a whistle around with you if you decide to explore, Northern Wisconsin has lots of bears!

I could…

I am a nineteen year old female.

I was eight teen years old when I made the decision to move out.

I was not forced, nor was it needed

But I am an independent, stubborn woman that believed I can, and I could.

I moved into a small studio apartment at the age I should’ve went to college. Instead of college, I bought a home. I loved not having rules, and eating whatever I wanted. I loved having my own space and doing whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted.

I listened to everyone tell my I can’t for so long…

And then I proved to them I could.

Dear life,

I hope you treat me well

I hope to make it far with you

I hope you give me great stories to tell

I hope the best for the rest of my family too.

I hope you give me children to raise

I promise to love them always

And to give them everything they want and need

I’ll do my best to limit all greed.

I hope to god that I will live awhile

But a little birdie told me all it takes is a little smile (: